Her Choice: What exactly is women empowerment?

For anyone coasting across the interwebz this past week, the baffling video titled 'My Choice' from Vogue India featuring Deepika Padukone and 98 other women in grey-scale reciting an ode to women empowerment must be nothing new. And neither would be the mixed (that would be an understatement: let's try backlash) feedback that has and is still being poured out from all corners of the country.

Baffling, I said? Well, it is in a way because while I do agree with some of the points raised, the video on the whole simply fails. It casts women empowerment as a rebellion against all norms. If, women empowerment, indeed had been the intention in the first place. Well I'm an optimist so let me give them the benefit of the doubt here. But even so, some of the lines do seem to incite aggressive feminism which is never going to go down well in a patriarchal system like ours.

The proof is in the pudding they say. The video has got about 25K dislikes on Youtube as of now- a really significant number considering the allegedly powerful message this video was supposed to purport.

Which got me thinking! What exactly went wrong here?

A couple of things come to mind. The one with "having sex outside of marriage, my choice", "coming home at 4 AM in the morning, my choice", these lines have the utmost potential to be misconstrued, and rightly so. These are the things that could have been elucidated a bit more responsibly. As it stands, they come across as being borderline reckless. I get it, women's choices are important. I get it, it's time we as a society started to give them a voice. I get it, women need to have the freedom to do things their way. And that is why I cannot bring myself to completely dislike this video. Because, choice, is a very powerful thing. Something we all have to agree most women in our society don't readily get.

 It had been Aishwarya Rai's choice to do an on-screen kiss with HritikRoshan in Dhoom but look how that turned out for her. This is what I have the biggest problem with. That we inadvertently create boundaries in our minds on how a woman is supposed to live out her life and are quick to rattle when if it is even crossed a little.

BUT, and that's a very big but, women empowerment or feminism is also about acting responsibly. It's about equality. It's about having equal laws, opportunities and code of conduct for both the genders. It should never be about one outweighing the other. If the same video had been made with men, there would have been an outcry of "Male Chauvinism!" And yet, somehow, we are expected to sit down and get enlightened when women say all the stuff that they need freedom from. Which in some ways, actually seems appalling, what with the kind of disregard shown towards men. If this is what they want to preach the young female population, soon we would see debates for "Masculism" cropping up.

 And thus, the ambivalence continues....

All those fans underneath to keep her hair afloat. 

Something Deepika would regret in the days to come. 

What happens when you press the elevator button twice?

Ok, be honest. Have you ever pressed an elevator button in succession within a short span of time or have ever pressed it even if it had already been pressed by somebody else? Well, welcome to the club.

To reiterate my question, what exactly happens when you press an elevator button twice or thrice?

Absolutely nothing!

The elevator does not come twice as fast if you press it two times. It's oblivious to your impatience. It comes when it comes. Like a boss.

Interestingly, we all knows this. Most of us at least, I'm hoping. I'm saying this because I once did see a great soul in our office punching the button non-stop. So much so I was worried he might even break it. I lost a little bit of faith in humanity right there.

Just kidding, of course. But really, why is your brain making you do something that it knows is irrational. What mystical power is at play here?

Turns out it's a mix of restlessness and our natural tendency to believe that more effort=better results!! Lets break it down -

1) You press it because it feels good to do something other than waiting. Psychologically, it works because your brain is more satisfied to know that something is being done to bring about an effect. The elevator doesn't come any faster but you are deluded you into thinking that's the case anyway. And inaction is something that your mind is averse to, especially when you are in a hurry.

2) You press the button and are waiting, then somebody comes along and presses it once more. How many times have you seen this happen? Countless? As astounding as it might sound, your brain doesn't want to accept the fact that the elevator will come without your intervention.

The best response you can give when somebody does this is, "Thanks! You pressed it a lot better than what I did." :)

3) You like the feel of buttons on your fingers. Seriously?


And yea, the next time your internet connection is slow and web pages do not seem to load, don't open more tabs!

Why are we always racing in our lives?

Picture this.

If you've ever traveled in an Indian airplane, you would have seen this already. The plane arrives at your destination, and as soon as you're given clearance to rise from your seats, that's exactly what you do! Or to be more precise, what everyone does at the exact same time. Why is this weird? Because in the grand scheme of things, it makes absolutely no sense at all.

You are not gaining anything by rising along with all the others. The airplane would only have one or two exits and people usually go out in a single file. So you just stand there in the aisle holding your luggage waiting for the people to move; you probably would even curse them for being such insufferable tortoises. The smart ones on the other hand would just stay in their seats, smirking at the fact even if you were to go out first, you would still be hauled in a bus to take you to the main terminal. Or that you would still have to wait at the baggage claim with everybody else. Your baggage will not pop out first just because you've exited the plane first! Ergo, unless you've got an escaped convict on the run or are reuniting with a long lost lover/family member -  irrespective of what your instincts might tell you to do, it's best to wait till the people closer to the exit have left first.

In fact, this predilection to be ever on the run has been so ingrained in our consciousness that it's unwittingly become part of our DNA now. You see this every where - buses, trains, movie theatres (we have got to walk out of the theater as soon as you see the credits rolling), and of course while driving on the road, which for Indians is a perpetual race. It's almost as if there's someone waiting with a waving flag at an imaginary finish line to crown you the Grand Prix champion! 

I guess the sole reason for this behavior is that we're brainwashed from the beginning to be ahead of everyone. This gets ingrained, in subtle ways, little by little - and by the end, eclipses our thought process so much that we race even without knowing what exactly we're racing for! So just lay back, relax, and know that it pays to hold your horses once in a while!

Why are we so insecure about religion?

I'm sure at least some of us believe that India is the greatest country in the world. And if someone were to ask why, we do seem to have a set of standard responses  - cultural and spiritual birthplace, tradition, ancient science…and the list would go on.

But there's nothing wrong in believing in this, right? Rrrright. Until it spews out wrong behaviour from the society. So basically my question boils down to -  Should you really be a chauvinist?

Numerous incidents and public speeches come to mind. But none more radical than the ones propagated by the Hindutva parties. It almost feels like they want us to believe that if not for India, the world wouldn't be what it is today! Mr. Modi once called every one in India a Hindu as they are born in Hindustan. The logic seems fine but a looming problem of Hinduism being an established religion in the country meant that many were put off by this statement. He was quick to justify the statement in a later interview by saying he considers Hinduism as a way of life and not religion as such.

But -  what about people who do not want to be labelled? People who do not want to belong to any 'way of life'? People who just prefer to go by the moniker of 'Indians'. Secularism is already feeling like a fast departing train.

Probably what came as a wake up call to many (at least me) was the incident that took place in a Mumbai church a couple of years back. Guess it needs no introduction, but basically, there had been water dripping from the feet of one of Jesus's statues. People called it a miracle! The water was deemed holy as it was God's message! And more often than not with situations like this, word gets out and before you know it - it's a public spectacle. In the midst of this came a man to try to debunk the phenomenon. What he found was just plain drain water that climbed the wooden statue through capillary action. Anyone with a basic knowledge in physics would be able to see this. And so you would think this would abate the foolish beliefs! Maybe it did for some people (I'm hoping), but it also paved way for a lot of backlash from the Church. He was cast as a heretic for "trying to hurt the religious sentiments" and a criminal case was bashed on him for the same. And I finally had a tangible grasp of how religion can dominate pure common sense, if needed be. The question we need to ask is this - is your faith not strong enough if it can be threatened by just a simple man? Why do you have to guard your faith so rigorously?

The list is just endless. And then you have some dogmatic outbreaks like the one for the movie PK. Why so much of "taking offence"?

One of the best things in the world (maybe not really  :P) is having the ability to laugh at yourself. It removes those pesky blinds on your eyes and makes you see your own vices. The above are just my views on this topic. Sound-off below in the comments section if you feel otherwise!